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What do experts say about whether the school bully needs more help or the one being bullied?

Violence And Bullying In School: Whenever the issue of bullying comes up in school, we have a negative reaction in our mind towards the children who bully. We think there are so many dirty kids who trouble others. But the truth is that these children do not need hatred or disregard but more compassion and sympathy. At least that’s what expert opinion says. Children who are bullied are troubled, but those who bully are also deeply troubled from within.

Home environment plays an important role

Talking about this, educational counselor and psychologist Dr. Amita Bajpai says that the upbringing of the child plays an important role in this. Two types of children are more involved in activities like bullying. One is those who have extreme strictness here and cannot do anything as per their wish and the other are those who are given extreme liberty.

extreme is bad for everything

She further says that when there is no opportunity to do or say anything at home and live as per their wish, then such children want to go out and establish their power. In such a situation, they start bullying the people around them and harassing them. Similarly, such children, whose every decision is followed at home, are never stopped for any mistake, they develop the habit of having their own way everywhere, they become bossy. Even in such conditions they try to bully in school.

who is being bullied

Like the child who bullies, the child who gets bullied also comes from a particular type of home environment. These children usually lack confidence, speak less or are unable to express themselves properly. It is difficult for them to take a stand for themselves. They may come from a family where they are ignored, not listened to and do not get a chance to speak. Bullying students also look for soft targets like them.

there is also a third party

Apart from these two, there is a third party who sees all this happening but does not speak. This is where the real work of parents, teachers, schools and counselors begins. It is important for schools to make such arrangements where cases like bullying do not occur and if they do occur, action on them is done so secretly that the child who reports it does not get suspected. When a child’s complaint reaches the parents, handle it mindfully.

what is the solution

Take the child to a counselor and work on his mental health. Give him a good supportive and positive environment. Don’t start getting angry at him. Get to the bottom of the problem and do not repeatedly look for solutions like changing the school or expelling him from the school. Due to this, anger increases in the child’s mind and he bullies more.

who are being bullied

Teach children who are being bullied to speak up. Build such a relationship with them that they are not afraid to express their views. If you see a sudden change in the child’s behavior, notice it and work on it. If he reduces his eating and drinking habits, looks for excuses for not going to school, has scratches somewhere on his body, talks less, keeps getting scared, then try to find out what the problem is. Before the problem becomes extreme, take it to a counselor.

things should not reach this level

Also know that when a child takes any extreme step out of anger or rage, it is only because he feels that no one is listening to him. Therefore, if the child says something, pay attention to it. Many times, when children have even died in bully cases, the motive of the child is not to kill someone but to get rid of the problem. They do not want to kill anyone but want to get rid of their bullying and the matter escalates to this point.

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